please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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