FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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