I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
