Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
