So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
