Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
