I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
