So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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