The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Are we still banned from the library?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
