i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
