On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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