# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
