Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it was like eating out sand paper
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
