Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
