i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
