ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I could fuck to npr.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
