Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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