I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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