Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize