I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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