i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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