What a fucking waste of an outfit
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
