So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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