I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
