singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
