Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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