Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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