ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
