Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
whose ass print is on the piano?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
