Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Found the puke drawer
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
