I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
