It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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