break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize