And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize
