That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
