okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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