If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
