just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
