I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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