At least make sure they are 18
Why
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize