Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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