I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
