it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
