I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
