he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
