I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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