so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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