Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
