omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
