After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize