Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
