Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
