I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
