I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
