we have officially lost it.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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