so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
