Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
