okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize