Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.

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(903): View more from Texas

My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.

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(410): View more from Maryland

and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's

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(417): View more from Missouri

I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka

(479): View more from Arkansas

I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.

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(281): View more from Texas

I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!

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