laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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