i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
