in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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